cw // sexual tension
We both always like this. It’s like a routine for us. We fought. We scream. We cry. We apologize. We hug. We kiss. We. Coitus.
Ketukan di pintu kamar kosan gue tiap dini hari itu selalu nandain kedatangan Garett. No one other than him. It always be him.
“Bee.” Sayup-sayup suaranya terdengar manggilin nama gue. “Aku minta maaf, Bee.” lanjutnya. I know that he’s not sorry for taking a picture with that whore, but he’s sorry because of the way he ended our text.
Kaki gue berjalan mendekat ke pintu. Selalu. Selalu seperti itu. Gue gak bisa marah ke dia dengan lama dan dia juga seperti itu. Tapi, sebelum gue ngeraih daun pintu dan memberikan jalan untuk Garett menguasai kamar gue dengan penuh. Gue berhenti. Mengubah ekspresi wajah gue. Berharap dia tidak sadar apa yang terjadi sebelum dia datang.
“Can’t find other girls, so you come here?” Yes. That’s how I treat our conversation. He rolled up his eyes. I know what he’s going to say.
“Not this again, Bee.” My turn to roll my eyes up.
Tubuh kirinya bertumpu di pintu. Kemejanya basah. Di situ gue baru sadar kalau di luar hujan.
“Kamu naik apa ke sini?” Dia diam. “Jangan bilang motor?” Dia gak perlu ngejawab untuk gue tahu kalau jawabannya adalah iya. Dari wajahnya yang merah pun sudah sangat menjawab.
Dalam keadaann kaya gini I will be the most bad girlfriend ever if I let him freeze to death. Tanpa basa-basi gue langsung narik dia dan nutup pintu dengan tangan lainnya. Nyuruh dia untuk duduk di atas karpet. Sedangkan gue pergi ke pantry untuk nyiapin hot chocolate. Untuk gue dan dia. I handed one cup of hot chocolate to him.
Talks about hot chocolate. It’s like part of my life. If someone tries to take it from me, it's like taking my breath away. I always drink it. Almost every night. Especially the night with Garett. I just get satisfaction from that because I feel like I can breathe twice as much.
“Buka baju kamu.” perintah gue. But, he’s not listening.
“Bee, maafin aku.” If I could kill him right now it would be amazing. Gue ngangguk dengan malas ngebales permintaan maafnya yang ga ada henti sejak tadi. Sekarang fokus gue berpindah lagi ke kemeja Garett.
“Buka atau aku yang bukain?” Kalimat pertanyaan dari gue sontak ngerubah ekspresi sedih Garett. Oh fuck I know that sounds hella weird, didn’t considere that I talk to Garett. Karena gue tahu iblis dalam dirinya yang akan bereaksi. Senyuman licik timbul di wajahnya. I wish I could take back my words. Because we always end up lying in my bed. Without any clothes.
He looks at me without a single word out. Smile. Or. Smirk. Grab his first button off while stare at me. I stare back, trying hard to act like I’m not invaded by him. I grip my hand tight at my cup. It’s hot. But, Garett is more.
He’s at his second button now. Our eyes remain locked. I held my breath, he couldn't hear anything. But, not with my throat. I know he heard that I gulped hard. At this moment I want to cut it so bad! Are you that thirsty?
Great. Now he’s smiling ear to ear. He calls me to get closer. Actually, he whispered. I don’t know when he's done with his clothes. All I see is it all over the floor now.
He grabbed me by my waist. Kissed it and looked up at me.
“Wanna talk?” he says.
Fuck him.
I mean literally fuck him.